I wasn’t going to write about this. I said absolutely no. I can’t put my business out there. But here goes nothing. Maybe I’ll regret it later, maybe I won’t.
You see, I feel a sense of warmth when I’m writing because most of my readers are friends and family. So I’m just going to put this out there; I’m struggling financially and have been for over a year. There, I said it.
I’ve been here before. I worked my way out, and by the grace of God overcame. So I know it’s only for a season. But like most people, I don’t like it.
My son has been the biggest blessing of my life. I am honored to be his mother and I’m humbled that God appointed me to be his mom. However, this lil guy is EXPENSIVE!!!! Between an increase in health insurance, daycare costs, and still paying for my hosptial stay from August 2011, I just can’t keep up. I don’t shop. I don’t go out. I don’t buy beauty products (my facial moisturizer is baby lotion). Wait! I did buy some lipsticks back in May. Oh well. I have 1 credit card and a cell phone. I do like to buy fresh fruits and veggies which unfortunately increase the grocery bill. Other than that, and my weekly $5 Zumba class, I live modestly. Health insurance is a must. Daycare is a must too because I want Big Boy to be in a learning environment. Hospital payments have dropped off lately…and the mortgage is behind along with everything else.
At 1st, I was CRUSHED!!!! I diligently worked to prevent from being in this situation. But then life happened. Haven’t you been here before? I was proud of my credit score. I worked sooooooo incredibly hard to increase it before purchasing my home. Eventually, I had to realize I was doing the best I could. And when I realized that, I let go. I had a conversation with God that went something like this, “I know you’re going to take care of us. I also know I can always do better. So, I’m going to do like I did before, and work extra hard to take care of my family because my son deserves it. I just need Your help, your guidance, your wisdom, and please show me what to do. I’m going to praise You all the way through.” My little talk with Jesus made it all right.
Now, let’s be real. I have days when I get down about my financial situation. That’s completely normal. On these days, I somehow get to a point where my thoughts turn to all my blessings. I have my health. I have a husband. I have a healthy, happy son. I have a home. My parents are alive. My brother is traveling the world. My in-laws are straight too :-). I have friends. I have a job. I have hope! I have life! I have God! In these moments, my heart becomes a place of thanksgiving, I remind myself that someone like Aimee Copeland is in a hospital trying to learn how to walk. Someone just lost their parent. I think about families that have just lost their homes to foreclosure. I think about someone discovering they’re HIV positive because of a cheating spouse. Indeed, I’m blessed. We’re blessed. And it only gets better.
My part-time job has welcomed me back with open arms. Thank You. I have a few projects in the making. Thank You. And guess what? I was able to pay my mortgage from May today too! In fact, when I called to pay it, the representative told me I had a $20 late charge. Then she told me it would be reduced to $10 because I bank with them. I was thankful for that. Then, she said, “You know what Mrs. Abrams, I’ll just waive that late charge for you. It’s obvious you’re struggling.” My response? “Thank you soooooooo much. God Bless You!” Now $20 may not be much to some, but it’s enough to help with another bill! I’m thankful for the small things.
Ya’ll (yes, I’m Southern) my hands starting waving in the air at my desk. I wanted to give God the praise he deserved so I went inside one of our conference rooms to get my praise on! Came out and started typing this post.
I know we struggle. Some experience death, health challenges, marital/relationship woes, financial problems, professional crisis, etc. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it feels unfair. But, you’re not alone. I’m reminded that every painful emotion we experience, Jesus Christ, in all his pureness and agape love, felt the same hurt and pain when he came to earth. He understands.
I’m closing now. But not before I write this, if we have breath in our body, then we have a reason to be thankful. If we look around, we can find more reasons to be thankful. When I 1st started writing this post, I was embarrassed. Not now. I’m not ashamed of my current situation. I’m ENCOURAGED. I actually enjoy the grind and journey. It makes for a better story, and you just got the inside scoop. Now get back to your regularly scheduled program. Next week I’ll be writing about my latest breakfast bargains. Until then,
Peace. Love. Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not sure if anyone needed this today. But I really needed to release my heart of thanksgiving.