This is My Hair. Deal With It & Get Over it. Please, and Thank You!

I just don’t understand why my hair has been such a big deal with the people in my life. It’s like lately, everyone feels the need to weigh in on how I wear my hair, which can be hilarious at times. (The receptionist at my job said I have too many conservatives in my life. LOL!) Based on pictures in previous posts, you probably know my hair is natural, meaning I don’t have a relaxer. You also probably know lots of women, maybe even yourself, who are natural too. I actually have several friends, colleagues, and even a few family members who are natural. But, I have had to downright laugh at some of the comments and looks I’ve received in recent weeks regarding how I wear my hair, and I’m not even a daring naturalista.

I started my journey to natural hair in 2006. I didn’t want to do the Big Chop. So my plan was to keep my hair shoulder-length, with frequent trims, not allowing it to grow past my shoulders until all my relaxer had grown out. During this time, I still wore my hair straight because I wasn’t comfortable with seeing or styling my own natural hair.  Then in 2009, I decided to try a texturizer (a very, very mild version of a relaxer) to slightly soften my curly-coily texture for more personal manageability. I liked the results but later I decided if I were going to be natural, then I was going to be natural. Oh yeah, I also gave my hair a break for a few months by getting a curly sew-in weave. That was some easy maintenance!

In 2010, I started wearing my hair in mostly twist sets or twist out styles. I occasionally straightened it, and that worked for a while. But then I felt enslaved to twisted styles. In fact, if my hair wasn’t twisted (or straightened), then I didn’t feel my total look was “together”.  Not a pleasant feeling. At the end of 2010, I discovered I was pregnant with my 1st child. Yay!!! I was soooooo excited, and I had a million things on my mind; hair was not one of them. So I threw caution to the wind and started rocking my hair in its true natural texture. I began to care less if I had or didn’t have the perfect “s” pattern in my hair. Wait! Let me be clear. I still wear my hair straight….sometimes. I just work out too often for straight hair these days. And yes, I still twist my hair once a month. But, I’ve gotten to a place where I’m not controlled by hair, and neither is my life. Shout out to my 10 month-old son for helping me love my BIG, CURLY-COILY HAIR!

Well, it’s been over a year since I made peace with my hair. You’d think everyone else would have too. But oh no! Folks are still trying to figure my hair out like it’s a crossword puzzle. Most of these same folks grew up in the 70’s, the era when ‘fros were king. So I’m all kinds of confused!

Here are some of the COMICAL comments I received over the past month when my ‘fro is in the building:

  • Girl, how do you comb it? My response: I don’t. I scrunch.
  • Can you just pat it down some? My response: No. I like it big!
  • Man, do you see your hair? Do you even care what I think? My response:  Not really!
  • I don’t know what you been doing with your hair. But I just don’t like it like that! My response: I’m glad my feelings aren’t easily hurt.
  • My husband even said this, “I don’t like it. But I also like that you don’t give a damn.” That was my FAVORITE comment!

Aren’t they funny? You can probably tell I love to talk and share. Unintentionally, these comments have made for some great water-cooler conversations, along with some laughs too!

Yet and still, I need to seriously address the inadvertent negative mindsets regarding hair. So, what is my advice to anyone with natural hair or transitioning to natural hair? Know it’s a process, and we all arrive at our moment of freedom at a different time. Remain open to embracing the process. If you do, you’ll learn to truly love your hair in whatever shape or texture God created. Whether your hair is relaxed, braided, weaved, naturally straight, naturally styled into a natural style, or just natural-natural, it’s your hair. You can do whatever you want with it…well depending on your job (we’ll have to address this later). We sometimes give too much energy to hair. Now I’m all for hair & beauty, trust me! But it has its place and purpose.

Hope you enjoyed this piece. I definitely enjoyed putting these thoughts into the atmosphere. Some pics of my hair are below.

Peace. Love. Hair!


Straight Hair

Silky & Silly in L.A.

Full & Straight in D.C.

Playing with my son in the bathroom

Twisted Natural Hair

Cell phone chic

Twist Out Baby!

As Natural as I Wanna Be with So Much Variety!

Tossed to the Side

Double French Roll

AFRO!!!!!!!!!! But still not big enough for me.